New Song

The second half of my summer was kinda dull spiritually. As much as I was working hard for the Kingdom and doing everything I knew in my heart to do in my relationship with God I still felt somewhat empty and it really discouraged me. I know that it's a season and we go through the ups and downs of life and our walk with God isn't always the mountain top. Yet I was convinced that I was descending faster and faster.
Honestly, it discouraged me from reading my Bible as much or getting into amazing quiet times of worship with God. Maybe there for a few weeks I was just "going through the motions". I knew I needed to get back on the horse and stop this downward spiral from getting out of control.

I wanted to stop the fall before it started!
So I did.

Because of this dry season in my life (by dry I mean musically dry) I wasn't able to write songs. Even if I wanted to, nothing comes out right when my heart isn't completely and totally His for the taking. Part of me didn't even want to write worship songs.
(Now, I'm not saying that just because I FEEL this way.. things ARE this way.. there is a huge difference between FEELINGS and WHAT IS REALLY THERE!).. this "season" was my FEELINGS. (Just clarifying things)

Today I came to a fork in the road. I either pick up my guitar or I don't. (Obviously, I did.)

All I had to do was play one chord and words flew out of my mouth that felt like they had been stored there for months just waiting to break the silence. Each phrase I wrote, the less stress I felt, the more satisfied my heart was, the less burdened I felt, the more at ease I was... etc. I could feel the heaviness lifting from my heart and when I stopped playing and writing down what I had just composed, I smiled. Not just any regular smile- but a smile of accomplishment and a desire fulfilled.

Writing (for me, I have been coming to realize, especially today) is the biggest and best release I have from any pain or frustration I am feeling or going through. It's the one thing that I can truly give God from the depths of my heart. It's my favorite gift that He and I share together. I feel like I'm a co-writer when He gives me songs... His name and my name both go on the title because I help Him and He helps me.

This form of worship is something I can't live without, something I refuse to live without for the rest of my life.

Thank You, Lord. You put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to You...... Psalm 40:3