Apex: after

This past weekend was amazing (just like I knew it would be..)

I grew closer with my youth group and as a whole I think we're more open as a group and we're getting to know each other better as friends. I was also able to connect with other people from different backgrounds and cultures which was incredible. I totally live in a Pennsylvania bubble.

I think we all (our youth group as a whole) entered into worship with a new sense of hunger and longing for the things of Jesus Christ and the passion that drove Jesus to the cross became the passion that was compelling our youth group to go farther in their worship.

The messages were straight forward and to the point but made me think about a lot. It helped re-evaluate my life on its path right now and opened my eyes to new things and helped me regain clarity.

The word LOVE has come up in my life a ton lately. (God always uses a word in repetition to speak to me and make His point..) So this weekend I was convicted about love and all the different things that go along with loving one another, loving when people don't deserve it, loving yourself, too. It also delt with a broken heart and how LOVE (GOD) can heal it.

No matter who or what hurts or scars your heart, you can't let it cause you to fall. Giving the devil a foothold because of something someone else has done to you or a mistake you have made isn't the right way to handle the hurt. Understanding that you can't blame someone else for the state of your own heart is something we all need to learn because it's such a valuable lesson. Once we get past that lesson, we're able to be on such a higher level than we were before. It opens up another step to the relationship God desires with us.

God healed a lot of wounds that I'd been harboring in my heart. Bitterness and unforgiveness, pain and a broken heart..

But there's also the side where WE come in.. another thing that totally clicked with me this weekend was that there are two things that happen when we are expecting or asking God to do something.
1. You're gonna ask and God will always listen.
2. You TAKE ACTION FIRST THEN GOD WILL WORK

Being faithful to God goes hand in hand with Him being faithful to us.
I know I've said this before but it's so true: If God calls us His friend, shouldn't we try our best to be a good friend to HIM?

Why are we loyal to our friends, make plans to be with our friends, think about our friends, do things for our friends, call and talk to our friends... but we can't make the time to spend with our Creator?

By the way, here's the story about "Battle of the Bands"
I wasn't even going to bring my drum to Apex and I honestly don't know (well I didn't know at the time) why I was even putting my drum in my car on Friday. My heart needed healed and I just didn't wanna take the time to pour into other people. I was mad at everyone and everything on the inside and coming to Apex I didn't even want to change my attitude.
Friday night and Saturday afternoon a few people asked me about playing for the competition but I quickly dismissed it and told everyone no. Absolutely not.
Friday night God began to work and soften my heart for the rest of the weekend. The message was about the Voice of Truth and how we should be like David. Facing giants in our lives can be tough but we need to listen to the right voices.
Saturday I was still in a bad attitude and just wanted to have fun. I was enjoying the workshops and the company of friends. Apex was great!
Saturday night God came and opened my H-E-A-R-T. With each letter and each word that it stood for, my heart was healing. I realized after that message that it wasn't anyone's fault but my own.
What stood out plainly was the fact that we need to follow God's heart beat. When Pastor Randy said that, my heart dropped into my shoes and my throat felt all funny. A few years ago it was prophicied over me that I play God's heart beat... I immediately repented because I knew that my hands were not worthy of anything God was doing through me... I knew I needed that heartbeat back into my heart and back into my hands.
Sunday after the morning service, Manny, who I haven't played music with since September asked if I wanted to do "Battle of the Bands". We would play the song we wrote right after church camp last year: In Spirit and In Truth.
I knew I had to do it. It wasn't for the competition for me. My heart was finally right with God and all I wanted to do was play my drum for Him as an offering.
Winning the competition wasn't as great of an accomplishment as the product of WHY I was playing my drum. All I cared about was that when we won, over 700 people would be able to use that song to enter into the presence of God, just like I do.
And go figure, the continuous message of the night after we opened the service was about worshiping in spirit and in truth.

God is so good!


If you're looking for answers and you're not getting one, check your heart. It may be that you need to take action so that God can do His part.
God just wants us to obey Him.

When I surrender, He smiles. When He smiles, my heart is glad.

My prayer for all of you who went to Apex is this:
Do not fall two weeks later, two months later, two years later.. keep on keeping on.. God has called you, and this past weekend was real. It touched you, it changed you, it refreshed you, it reminded you that you're valuable, it reminded you that you're a child of God, it showed you that you're loved beyond measure and it showed you that the presence of God is irreplaceable. Don't forget what He did for you. He doesn't ever forget you. So be the salt and light of the world and take action when it comes to sharing the Gospel. Take action when it comes to walking straight and narrow path. Take action when your friends are telling those jokes. Be the one to take a stand.. because when Jesus took up the cross He was thinking of YOU. I pray you all do something amazing with joy God has given you this weekend and that it carries out forever and you're never lacking. I also pray that through everything, you'll remember that you're more than a conquorer through our Lord Jesus Christ. Be a worshiper and remember that it's a lifestyle.. not just a part of the Sunday agenda. Ignite your faith.

Love, Kylie